Acceptance At Last!!!!!!!

 All my life I have been searching for the feeling of acceptance.  As mentioned in my first blog, I am an extremely athletic person and as such, have been on countless sports teams.  I’ve been on more soccer teams that I can remember, the church volleyball and basketball teams, and various intramural teams.  Needless to say, I learned the concept of teamwork at a young age. 

Regardless of these various teams, I have never had the feeling like I really belonged anywhere.  I’ve always felt like I was just on a team because that was my age group and was, therefore, the team I had been assigned to.  I have never felt a strong connection with any of my sports teams; that connection one feels when they are accepted as equals by those on the team.  Year after year I participate in these different sports and have yet to feel that acceptance from the other teammates.  Sometimes I might become decent friends with a few people on the team, but I have always felt disconnected to a large degree.

When I started belly dancing, I never thought about the fact that, in a sense, I was on a team, a team of all women working together to coordinate a dance that would both stun the audience and create unity between us.  By the end of the seven weeks of my very first belly dancing class, I still didn’t know everybody, but even without knowing the names of the different people in my class there was an unspoken connection between us.  I don’t know if I can fully explain what that feeling is.  If I had to try to put it into words, I would say it is a feeling of being welcomed, a feeling of being accepted without having to “earn” it, even a feeling I have never before experienced.  I had never taken a dance class before in my life, a fact that worried me for a while and made me initially feel out of place.  This fact didn’t matter to any of them though, because we were there to learn together, to celebrate together, to dance together.

I have now been in three different Middle Eastern Dance classes, and I’ve had the same feeling in each class.  Regardless of your size, race, life style, dance ability, or anything else that may matter in any other setting, people there accept you for you.  Belly dancing, for me, really in an escape from a secular society.  My dance class is  something I look forward to all week because it is 1-1 ½ hours of freedom.  Freedom from gossip, freedom from being judged, freedom from a society that doesn’t accept people how they are.  At dance I can be me, and that person is good enough just the way I am. 

I have finally found a place in this world where I belong.  I have found my escape from our secular society!  Have you??       

Cherish the good things in LIFE!!!

It will make ALL the difference!!!

Belly Dancing as an Art Form!!!

A few years ago I took a two-hundred level humanities class.  I don’t remember how I ended up in that class because I had never taken a humanities class before.  All I know was that when we got to the section of the class that talked about art, I was utterly surprised.  More than half of the pictures and statues seemed to be depictions of naked men or women.  If you think about some of the most famous statues or painting in the world today, your mind may included some of these images.  For example, one of Michelangelo’s masterpieces, The Statue of David which is meant to show the strength and power of David in his youth.  Another famous status is that of the Venus de Milo statue.  This statue is a depiction of the Greek goddess of love beauty and fertility.  Aphrodite, also known as Venus, is sculpted to portray the beauty and affection that binds people together in marriage.  What makes this statue unique is that Aphrodite has no arms; a piece of cloth covers most of the lower half of her body; the rest of the statue is bare.  This statue, and many others like it are honored for their portrayal of classical elegance and representation of beauty. 

Now, what do these statues have anything to do with belly dancing? 

Most people, when first hearing the words "belly dancing", immediately think of the costume they have deemed as immodest.  This thought is followed shortly thereafter by a mental image of a type of dance they have declared inappropriate.  Middle Eastern Dance is a form of art like unto these statues.  The dance and costumes are not meant to flaunt or sexually portray the body, but rather, it is meant to help express the beauty of the dance and body.

The other day I was talking to an individual who is experienced in the areas of psychology and sociology.  Something he said stuck me.  He said that the largest sexual organ in our body is our brain.  In other words, we decide how we respond to what we see.  It is US, as individuals, that train our brains to respond to our surroundings in specific ways.  This is why one person looks at the Venus de Milo and thinks it is pornography, and another person, seeing the same statue, finds its view breathtaking and beautiful.  This is why one person looking at a belly dancer thinks the costume is revealing and the dance is scandalous, and another person, seeing the same outfit and dance finds the view to be impeccable, graceful and a representation of a pure art form.

It is each of us, individually, who decides how we respond to the world around us.  Might I encourage each of you to give Middle Eastern dance another change.  Take another look, and this time, open your mind, and your eyes will adjust accordingly!  You will see the beauty I see, the gracefulness that has me so deeply in love with this art form. 

GUEST BLOGGER--Belly dance: More Power to You!

I have been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints since I was eight, and hold a current temple recommend. I grew up in California and later moved to Utah when I was in high school. I started belly dancing in 2007 and I love it. I love everything about it. I love the music, the costumes, the shows, and especially the other dancers! I do not find this dance form vulgar or obscene, though just like almost any other thing, it can be made vulgar and obscene if people chose to use it that way.

In general, most people I have met have been interested and excited when I talk about dancing, but I have met some people who are not as accepting of belly dance as they are of other dances. Some of that may stem from how this dance came to America and how it was initially portrayed as ‘naughty’ and mainly taken into the seamier side of our culture—strip clubs and the like. It is too bad that people have these incorrect attitudes about such a wonderful and empowering dance, because belly dance comes from the rich culture of the Middle East, and there it is accepted as a beautiful art form. People there will go to a restaurant and watch a dancer as they eat. It is family entertainment—for everyone. This is what belly dance is supposed to be.

I like belly dance, and call it empowering, because it gives the dancer so much knowledge about his or her own body. The movements are isolated and controlled—unlike most other dances, though many other dances use some of the moves that are found in belly dance. I also feel belly dance empowers the dancer because they can dance with a group, or on their own. They do not have to have a partner, for example, a woman can dance by herself, not with a partner who is ‘leading’ her. This is one of the few dances where a woman can be dominant and strong, without the need for a male prop. A male belly dancer, contrary to some opinions, does not have to look feminine. The moves look great when men do them, too, just different from a woman because their body structure (proportions, center of gravity, etc.) is different.

I think costume is an inseparable part of belly dance, whether you are dancing in jeans and a top, a Tribal or Folk costume that may be a more muted color with coins and shells or very little decoration, to an Egyptian Cabaret costume made from a flashy material, decorated with beads and sequins. I feel the dancers needs to be free to wear what they wants to wear, what will display or enhance the dance. It seems unfair to me that public opinion will often label a female belly dancer as slutty for wearing a costume that shows her bare belly while professional ballroom dancers and ice skaters wear costumes that may be very much more revealing, but they are accepted. I have a friend who has children involved in ballroom/jazz/lyrical/ballet dance and she regularly goes to shows and has told me that the costumes the performers wear often (usually?) display much more of the performer’s body than any of my dance costumes do. Why is this acceptable and a belly dancer with a bare belly is not? I have no problem with a dancer who chooses not to show her belly—I just feel it should be her choice and her choice only, not a reaction to public opinion. Athletes and other dancers do need to wear sportswear and costumes that will not restrict their activities for their sports or dances. In the same way, I feel belly dancers, who have some of the most amazing and controlled belly movements I’ve ever seen, should not feel they need to cover their belly. This will cloud or even obstruct a view of one of the most beautiful parts of the dance. This is why it is called belly dance! Much of the effect of these subtle belly movements is lost when covered up.

I also think that it shouldn’t matter, especially for a woman, what size her belly is. If a woman is confident about her body and that she knows the movements and she has practiced her dancing and wants to perform, she shouldn’t be told by friends or family that she should cover her belly because it is ‘too big,’ or that she should forget it, she is ‘too fat’ to perform. There is not one standard body shape, despite what we see on the anorexic TV stars and the airbrushed magazine pages. One does not have to have stick arms and legs that don’t look as if she could even make it from one end of the mall to the other. Women come in all shapes. I think a woman would want to be as healthy as she can, and as part of that, belly dance can be a great starting point to increased vitality. Of course any venue hiring a dancer should be free to hire whomever they choose, and knowing the public bias, a dancer who wants to go professional will meet with less enthusiasm if she is on the larger side, which is too bad, especially if she is an accomplished dancer.

Having discovered belly dance almost four years ago, it is now an integral part of my life. I cannot imagine living without it. It is my primary exercise, my creative journey and my emotional outlet. Given the right music, I can dance any emotion I feel: joyous or despairing, gentle or angry, playful or even grief stricken, leaving me generally satisfied and confidant on almost any day instead of a repressed and cowed shell of a woman vainly seeking for something that will alleviate her despair. That is why I love belly dance.

Performance Time!!!!!

Last Saturday I participated in Gypsy Tapestry; this was my very first dance performance EVER!!! 

Here is a video that my sister took of my class' dance.  I apologize in advance for the quality of the video being so poor.  It was recorded using an ordinary camera, but it's all I have for now!  ENJOY!!!

It was a WONDERFUL experience; I can't wait until next March when I get to perform again!!!

All the people who came to support me!!!!  Thank you thank you!!!  I love you all!!

Lets do a Lil' Mixin'!!!

This last week I attended a faculty dance performance on BYU campus.  Much of the performance was modern dance, a style of dance I had never seen before.  Something I found fascinating was that there were a lot of dance moves I saw that were either similar or identical to those used in belly dancing.  This realization inspired me to view dance from a new perspective.  

Although I have never participated in any other type of dance in a formal setting, I have learned a little bit of various dances throughout my upbringing.  Some of my favorite types of dance are swing, country, hip hop, Latin, ballet, ballroom, B-boyin'/ B-girlin' (what everybody knows and refers to as "Break Dancing"), etc.  

When I realized that there were similarities between Middle Eastern Dance and the dance performance I had seen, I started pondering about various dances and wondered if there were any similarities between them and Belly Dance.  This is what I found....

Here are only four dances I have found similarities in.  Any other ideas???

An Escape from a Secular Society, What does that even mean???

Where did the title of my blog come from?  What inspired such a name?

There are many different reasons why I love belly dancing.  The title of my blog is referring to my absolute #1 reason why I love this specific type of dance.  That reason is because belly dancing accepts and encourages ALL women to participate.  That may sound a little bit broad; let me explain what I mean...

One thing I despise about today's society is its critique of women about how we ought to look.  We are smothered with magazines portraying women as objects, telling women in society that in order to be considered "beautiful", we must look like those women...women who starve themselves in order to appear a certain way, or whose pictures have been altered or airbrushed, creating an unrealistic image.  Many women in today's society have fallen into the trap these advertisements have set, causing them to have low self-esteem and despise their very existence because they don't fit this image society has created for them.  Middle Eastern Dance is an escape from THIS society...a society that focuses on secular things, such as looks, instead of character.

Belly dancing is a type of dance that not only accepts, but encourages all females to participate.  It does not matter how tall or short you are, how big or thin you are, what race you are, nor what level of beauty a societal scale has given you.  ALL women are invited to participate, to learn, to enjoy this type of dance.  I think of the accepted dances/sports in our culture such as ballet, ballroom dance, swimming, etc...all of these activities expect the women to be thin.  Belly dancing takes you as you are and helps you to not only accept, but love that person.

I've always had terrible self-esteem, especially while growing up.  It was seldom connected to body image, but just to a lack of love and acceptance for myself as a whole.  Ever since I started my belly dancing class in July, I have noticed a HUGE difference in my view of myself.  Belly dancing teaches you to grasp your femininity and learn to appreciate not only your body, but your internal attributes as well.  It also allows you to express yourself in a way that is comfortable to you as an individual.  There is great satisfaction in being able to produce a dance that reflects my inward personality and emotions! 

For anybody who desires an increase in self-esteem or desires to know themselves better, I recommend belly dancing.  It truly is an escape from a secular society, an escape from being judged or told that you ought to appear a certain way.  Think of it, a world where everybody is accepted as she is!  I assure you that it is just as wonderful as it sounds :)

Myth #783--Belly Dancing's purpose is for women to dance FOR men--

The other day I was sitting at the dinner table in the Foreign Language Housing.  As required of those living in the FLSR, the rest of the Chinese house (both the girl's house and the guy's house) were sitting at the same table eating dinner.  I made some comment about how I had eaten too much and that this was problematic since I was leaving for my dance class shortly after dinner.  One of the guys asked what type of dance I was taking.  Without any hesitation, I responded in Chinese "肚皮舞" aka "Belly Dancing".  My response brought the typical reaction, one in which I am becoming quite accustom to.  His eyebrows rose, with surprise mainly, but also with fascination and curiosity.  After dinner he proceeded to tell me about how belly dancing was a sexy dance that the skinny girls participated in...saying that the girls dance for the guys in a similar manner as pole dancers in clubs do for money.  I informed him that the dance is NOT intended for the purpose of sexually entertaining or arousing men.  I told him how there are women of all different sizes that do this type of dance.  His response took me a little off guard.  There was a sort of disgusted look on his face as he said, "That's gross; I don't want to see fat people moving all that fat around".  By this point in the conversations I was frustrated and gave up my attempt to convince him that belly dancing is not what he thinks it is.

With my head slightly lowered, spirit saddened, I slowly walked out the door and made my way to my dance class.  Only a few minutes into class my spirit was lifted once more and a huge smile came across my face.  I decided that people didn't have to understand or approve of my belly dancing.  It makes me happy, and that's good enough for me!  After dance I spoke with a few women from my class, mentioning the frustrating conversation that had taken place between me and that guy shortly before I had come to class.  Their responses brought comfort to my discouraged heart and a smile to my face once again.  Both of them were disgusted with what that guys had said.  "Boys, uhg, boys need to get over themselves.  Not everything we do is for them.  They think we put on make-up for them, and now they think we dance for them...ha".  How can you not smile upon hearing such a response???

Something that I find ironic is that some of the Middle Eastern dances were actually originally performed by males, and even now there are still male belly dancers.

There are many different theories about the original purposes of belly dancing.  One theory is that the dance was originally danced by women for women.  Another theory is that Arab women were the first people to perform this type of dance as a part of religious rites to Hubal, the moon god.  A third theory is that belly dance was always danced as entertainment.  The big question is:  what is the purpose for belly dancing now?

From my various dance instructors and exposure to un-corrupted belly dance, I have come to form my own opinion about what some of the purposes of belly dancing are.  Belly dancing is meant to bring women together as a sisterhood to celebrate femininity together.  The dance is not designed to flaunt the woman's body, but rather to help the individual dancing become comfortable and confident in the body she is blessed with.  So, in essence, belly dancing is meant to benefit the individual, celebrate femininity, and help create bonds between fellow women dancers.

It's All the Same to Me!!! :)

Everybody knows that pictures can say 1000 words.  Here are some that say, perhaps, even more than that!!! :)

 

Middles Eastern Dance is a sport just like running or swimming.  I find it interesting that we as people see an individual wearing nothing more than a small piece of cloth, accept, and then dismiss this apparel as "normal", for it is simply their athletic attire.  Don't get me wrong, I too see nothing wrong with these pictures, because as an athlete, I understand that certain clothing, or lack thereof, is important in being successful in certain sports.  

Everybody gets excited about the Olympics, but if we think about it from a slightly different perspective, it is a time when we spend hours staring at people who are wearing very little.  Every sport has a uniform that best protects or benefits the individual participating.  I grew up playing soccer, a sport that required extra equipment in order to help protect the players.  This is very different apparel than those who participate in gymnastics, who need to wear minimal and tight fitting clothing that does not get caught during the procession of their various routines.  What you wear while participation in a sport is extremely important.

One of those sports is belly dancing!  Since most of the dance is centered around the lower abdomen, torso or hips (where the center of gravity usually lies in females), it is important for the individual dancing to wear attire that suits the various moments of the dance.  For me personally, I notice a HUGE difference between going to my dance class in a tank top, and practicing at home in a sports bra.  When the stomach is un-covered, I can see the movements clearly which helps me to learn the dance easier and more correctly.  Also, I can see my abdominal muscles working, an aspect of this sport that I find fascinating. ;)  When the dancer is aware of her own movements, it is easier to produce a dance that is fluid and beautiful.

Doing belly dance in gear that covers the stomach is like riding a bike while wearing a snowsuit.  It is possible, but it certainly does not make the task at hand very simple.  In this type of dance, the exposure of the "belly" is what makes the various movements flow, making the dancer/athlete successful in her dance!!!

Workin' da ZILLS!!! 哦 Yeah!!!

Check out my Zills, yo!

To Zill, or not to Zill...that is the question!!!!

Unlike the other belly dancing props, the zills are an instrument as well as a prop.  My love for music naturally drew me in, and though the veil part may be easier, as well as more graceful and beautiful, the thought of spinning on stage in front of a bunch of people when I'm nervous, does not appeal to me in the slightest ;)

Last week was the first time my class practiced both parts together.  My very own zills!!!  I left my dance class with a smile on my face, a skip in my walk, and a glisten in my eyes.  I felt like my heart was going to burst from excitement.  I was giddy...like a little kid on the night before Christmas.  It was a difficult, but glorious experience learning how to play a rhythm with the zills and dance at the same time.  I am far from mastering the zills, but playing them, for me, is a ray of sunshine, and a breath of fresh air!!!

Of All Things…WHY Belly Dancing???

And this...this is my Hip Scarf!!!

Belly dancing, it's random, I know!!!

I grew up in an extremely athletic family.  It's in our name, you know...WILSON!!!  I played soccer, volleyball, Frisbee, basketball, softball, baseball, etc...pretty much ANY and ALL sports became the love of my life.  With such an upbringing one might wonder how on earth I got into belly dancing.  Me, this clumsy little Mormon girl whose first and last dance class was at the age of 5...(it was a ballet class:)  Since then, any word associated with femininity, such as: graceful, elegant, flexible... has been far from any adjective people would choose to describe me.  At the age of 12 I decided I would participate in a gymnastics class.  Ha, I realized quickly that I was not cut out for that sort of thing as I not only out-aged everybody in the class by at least 2 years, but might I also mention that I do recall "bragging" about being the tallest one in the class when we were doing the splits ;)  I'm sure you now have this rather interesting mental image of an extremely inflexible, uncoordinated female attempting to belly dance.  I will admit that this new found passion of mine came as a surprise to me as well!

Why Belly dancing???

Well, one of my previous roommates started taking belly dancing classes about two years ago, and while visiting her this April, I decided to ask her to teach me a dance move.  I thought it looked SOOO cool when she would show me random moves she knew.  I spent the next 10-15 minutes looking at myself in the mirror becoming quite frustrated that I could not come anywhere close to imitating the move she was trying to teach me.  I looked like a 90 year old trying to do the hokey poky.  It was an embarrassing and pitiful sight and I ended up being rather annoyed with myself for the next hour or so.  Three months later, I attended the first day of my belly dancing class.   I was bound and determined to learn how to do that one move my roommate had tried teaching me those three months before.  That first class was difficult.  I spent the entire time starring at myself in the mirror...forehead scrunched, eyebrows furrowed, occasional sighs of frustration, but I refused to give up that easily.  By week four I found myself laughing at my various mistakes, stiff limbs, and multiple moments of confusion made evident through my oh so frequent blank stares.  The last three sessions of that class were glorious, and for the entire hour I had a gigantic grin plastered on my face.  I was nowhere near mastering fluidity or grace, but I had found a new love, and I couldn't have been happier!!!

Just, you know, practicing in my apartment!!!